Marriage: Broken and Restored

Part of my descent into that dark and angry place that ended with divorce papers, was my unrealistic expectations. I logically assumed that by doing good things for people, good things would come to me. The fact is, doing good things for others is a spectacular way to live. Sowing and reaping. Karma. Generosity. Random […]

The reason the American church will survive

No, I haven’t lost my mind. I am fully aware of the last article I wrote with a contradictory title. As some of my faithful detractors have pointed out, the church has been under attack since the beginning. Cults, sects, governments, other religions, nonbelievers, etc. Yes, the church has survived. The problem, in my mind, […]

The reason the American church is doomed

In direct response to many Christians who are losing their minds over the whole gay marriage issue, I have a suggestion. Get over it. That also goes for every other issues that the American church has gotten its panties bunched up over. Remember that Jesus guy? The one we are supposed to follow? Our Founder. […]

Examining the junk inside your own head

I once heard a doctor explain his greatest frustration. He said he couldn’t understand people coming to him for advice, and then rejecting it. A qualified doctor, offering a rational solution to a potentially life threatening issue… And the advice is ignored. Not that he can’t accurately diagnose the problem, but that the person won’t […]

Offended by absolutely everything imaginable

OK. That’s it. Everyone has offended me. The flags, the guns, the gays, the lesbians, the christians, the atheists, the rich, the poor, the politicians, the foreigners, the black and the white, the carnivores and the vegetarians, humans and Martians… all of them. All of them have offended me. So. Now that I have said […]

Why is everyone afraid of the giant toddler?

We have a situation. A toddler has entered our life and we are trying to understand him. This is no ordinary kid. This one is damaged. To the best of my knowledge, the toddler has experienced some extreme traumas. Been through some things that can’t be understood or resolved. Seems to have no ability to […]

Trapped in a bad life. Separating heroes from victims.

“I just did what I had to do.” Those were the words of a young man I met while working in a prison. He seemed very sincere. He told a story of being arrested for stealing money to buy food for his family. I listened carefully, as he told me his story. I imagined hungry […]

Lessons about life, learned from my wife

In the twenty-five-plus years we have been married, I have figured a few things out. Most importantly, my wife is a whole lot smarter than anyone has ever given her credit for. I am a reasonably intelligent guy. I can tie my own shoes and put words together. I can generally function in society. But, […]

What’s wrong with having sex while dating?

I have been reading some articles this week, regarding problems with the church’s attitude towards sex. It seems like a lot of these guys converted away from the church over issues that they couldn’t resolve. I don’t necessarily agree with them, but I don’t blame them either. The church has created some strong stereotypes. Twisted […]

The difference between being stuck together and strong together

A friend posted a comment on Facebook for Mother’s Day. He said something about his wife being stuck with him. He was being funny, but it struck something in me. I used to say that, too. No woman is ever stuck with her husband. Divorce isn’t the only escape clause for a bad marriage. Any […]

The YouTube video that my wife made me watch

So. My wife recently found this video on YouTube. It’s got to be the greatest batchelor party ever planned and executed. She tagged me, I had to watch it. What I saw, was a group of guys making incredible effort to give a buddy the best day of his life. I would be be lying […]

What does it take to balance my life?

Even after all my years alive… Married… Parenting… Working… Etc. There’s something I still have never seen or truly understood. Balance. I don’t mean relative balance. I mean complete balance. Where every aspect of your life is satisfying and properly managed. Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to apologize for. Not living in alternate universes […]

Jumping ship. Making the big decisions.

This week, I begin a whole new chapter in my life. It’s a very exciting time, but also nerve wracking. I have made countless transitions in my life. Each time, each one, all meant letting go of the old and familiar to jump into the new and unfamiliar. I was offered a position on the […]

The single greatest moment of my life

Last night was date night. Nothing fancy. Thanks to an after school program that ran late and a 5k run that my wife had to leave early for, we had to keep it simple. (Not the great date concepts like our interview on We just went to one of our favorite dinner spots. We […]

The Surprising Solution to Chronic Jackassery

In the classic style of email marketing and late night infomercials… Let me resolve an issue that pains so many of us. Some of us personally struggle with this condition, some of us are victims of someone else’s condition. Most of us have witnessed the effects and felt the inner torment when we witness someone […]

Making major change with minor effort

So, my classic old 1984 Toyota van finally decided it needed a major repair. The transmission surrendered. Can’t complain. I bought the old girl for $700 about two years ago, did a few repairs and drove it to death. Including tires, I have less than $1500 in it. Still deciding if she gets a transplant […]

Failing, falling and getting back up

It’s that time again. Someone pushed that button that demands a response. So. Here we go. I have been listening to our local Christian radio station lately. They have featured some artists that I worked with years ago. They have also run some really good teachings from pastors I never heard of before. But a […]

Punching the man card

Someone sent me the man card image. We got a good laugh out if it. My wife got a bigger laugh when I started pointing out how many of those manly man items were on my résumé. So, in defense of my utter and absolute manliness, let me explain myself. Grow epic beard. Got that. […]

My completely irrational sense of hope

I have to be honest with my readers about my situation. None of these articles are being written from an ivory palace. There’s no abundance here. I am still struggling with the decisions I made years ago. Years of neglecting my family and finances are still causing us problems. My family gets stronger every day, […]

Raising a colorblind generation

Racism is the hot button right now. Even in my quiet little town, we have been seeing people protesting things from hundreds of miles away. It’s a subject I haven’t really dealt with much in my writing. Maybe it’s time for my two cents worth. I am a white man. Plain old white bread with […]

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