I have discovered another issue in my own randomly obnoxious personality. Some folks who want to “educate” me, by commenting on my writing, are starting to get on my nerves. Really irritating sometimes. Thought I might rant a little this morning.
This is my blog. I pay the hosting fees. I paid for the domains. I do all my own design and site management. I write all my own posts. I even track down the artwork. And… Everything I write about is from my own life and experiences. This is not something I am doing because someone pays me to do it. Except for the occasional book sale or LegalShield membership, I don’t really make anything from this. It’s about twenty hours a week of volunteer labor. All me. I am not morally obligated to publish a single word from anyone who is pushing their own agenda. I don’t have to allow this site to become a platform for anyone’s misinformed beliefs.
Don’t get me wrong, I love comments. I love to hear your thoughts and opinions, even the ones who don’t agree. I don’t mind being challenged. I don’t even mind the occasional maniac who wants to tell me exactly what kind of idiot they think I am. All good. No problem there. We have made a few friends thought this. Even a few who started out as a challenge.
Here’s what bothers me. “Yes, I agree completely, but want to add this….” Then they write something that is completely opposite of what I just wrote. They agree with everything I said about the connection between salvation and marriage, about the husbands needing to display true Christlike love, about the similarities between traditional submission teachings and slavery…. And then correct me by trying to mix in the same garbage I am preaching against. Seriously? How can you “agree” that the submission message is twisted and perverted and then endorse it at the same time?
Or something like this… “You forgot to add in all the parrot-like church lingo to make us all feel like we are the same.” I write an entire article, spelling out details of something that is important to me, something I actually worked through, and someone adds to it. Recently, I was published in an online magazine. The article was seven points to help someone do something specific as a church audio tech. The first comment corrected me by adding number 8, my need to be spiritual while working. Really?
Or the guy who comments without even reading the article. “I stopped reading after the first paragraph…” And you still took the time to tell us exactly how ignorant you are? He jumped on me because I said that I write specifically to men. “Insanely insensitive.” That was the comment. One more paragraph and he would have understood.
I guess the comments I really enjoy are from the folks who have read more than one article. The guys who want to rip me apart usually only read one. That seems to be a pattern. They seem to be adequately offended by just one, to motivate them to complete my unfinished seminary training. The guys who tell me I am wrong, even while I have the life and marriage they dream of.
Am I missing something?
If you visit my house, there’s a lot of things you will not find. Degrees and certificates from major universities. Photos of me shaking hands with celebrities. Priestly robes and big hats. Timid family members who bow to daddy. A beaten down shell of a woman with a crushed spirit. You know, stuff like that.
What you will find is a family that loves each other. Kids who laugh together. A home where everyone is finding their unique gifts and talents, and getting help to use them. A wife who once despised her husband and is now openly passionate towards him. A husband and father who loves his family more than anything else. No exaggeration. That’s my home. All this stuff is written for your benefit. Trying to show you what is possible. Offering hope.
The ones who want to challenge me or dilute my message need to understand simple logic. So, here’s what I have.
In the early 1900’s, if you wanted to know anything about flying, you had to visit the Wright Brothers. From about 1900 to 1920, they were the pioneers. They were the first to make legitimate flight happen. They had experimented, crashed and learned from their mistakes. They had eventually taken their mistakes and created a machine and design that accomplished their goal. They flew at a time when no one else could do it. They did the impossible.
I am quite sure that even while they were doing it, someone was telling them they were wrong. Someone was probably even watching them at Kitty Hawk criticizing the way they did it. Even while that plane was in the air, I bet someone was waiting to educate them on their design flaws.
That’s kinda how I feel writing this some days. We tried the traditional counseling. We spent twenty years under the submissive wife teachings. We heard some of the most insane interpretations of the marriage roles. We listened to people teach about their definitions of submission and covering. We watched people who defended this stuff lose their own family. We saw one divorce after another even while the concepts were still being defended. A 50% divorce rate is not acceptable. If it wasn’t for the guilt of divorce within the church, it would probably be substantially higher.
So, while I am being criticized and attacked, I am still flying. While the detractors and critics murmur and complain about the things I say, I am doing the impossible. In absolute defiance of dead religion, my faith is stronger than ever. I am living a miracle. I am experiencing the heart of Ephesians 5:25 and understanding what Christ was trying to teach us. His type of love, applied to our families, is what makes the impossible happen.
Go ahead, feel free to comment and email me. Just know that I am selective in which things I publish. Mindless bashings don’t usually make it. Unfounded religious rants don’t usually make it. Abusive husbands defending their foolishness… Yeah. Sometimes. Especially when they push it and keep sending me junk. Maybe. Just for the fun of it. Just so they can see how stupid it sounds, telling me what they think and believe, even while I am actually flying and they aren’t.
Wilbur and Orville may not have the final say in all things, concerning aircraft. Their design has been replaced by much more advanced understanding and technology. But, their original discovery made it possible. The history books might show others figuring out similar things at the same time, but they still flew. They still did the impossible and opened up a whole new world. They figured out how to do something humans had been after for thousands of years. They made it work.
While folks out there despise me and my ideas, they still work. Ephesians 5:25 is my launching pad that took a clueless, hyper religious jerk and helped him win his family back. My words might be obnoxious and offensive, at times, but I don’t claim perfection. There’s millions of things I still don’t do right or understand, but not this. My wife loves me passionately. My marriage is stronger than ever. My faith is solid. My kids respect me again. My world is at peace. Can you say that?
You can quit the squawking and fly whenever you are ready.