Yep. It’s that time again. I am overdue for a tirade and today is the day. Here’s the laundry list of irritants for this week.
A friend, a fellow blogger, is closing down one of the most popular blogs I work with, thanks to a selfish toddler of a husband. A blog that she has poured her life into, and has been a huge blessing to thousands of people, is ending because of her husband. Yeah. It’s bothering me. Because I can’t reach this guy and make him understand what he is doing to his own family. I feel helpless. Because one more man won’t accept the weakness of his own faith and pursue true Christianity, the whole world is losing all of her work.
Another irritant is in the form of a few brothers in the faith who have attempted to educate me over the last few weeks. One even declared that the purpose of his future blog will be tearing mine apart. His whole purpose in life is now reduced to exposing every flaw he can find in my writing. That should keep him busy for a few years.
No. I am not publishing those letters. Yes. I did respond to him. I figured if he is determined to continue this assault, then I will probably just publish the entire conversation; including his links. You know. Just to help promote him. My writing is practically handing out rocks to throw at me anyway. How much more damage can one more self righteous and deceived Christian do anyway?
I am also frustrated with our financial situation. This writing isn’t coming from some nice office, where I show up everyday to bless humanity with my eloquence. This is a guy with dirt and grease under him fingernails, writing on an iPad he won from LegalShield, sitting at a dining room table, getting up at 5:45am to be at work by 7:45am. I have worked very physical and dirty jobs since I was 16. Just trying to survive. Repeated setbacks have taken our savings and investments, over and over and over. Having another one now. It’s getting old.
We have opened our home to friends and family who are in desperate situations. Their lives have been tragic recently. All victims of humanity. Bad relationships with stupid people. Drug usage destroying other families has affected theirs. People who can’t stay out of jail. Guys who just lie and take. All selfishness. All bad. All hurting my friends and family. We are doing what we can, but it might not be enough. Want to do more for them. Want to help them become self sufficient.
Can we get a break?
I am also in a minor competition with Joel Davisson, to drop some of our fatness. Our wives have conspired to make us eat our words, and less pizza. They have both maintained their figures since marriage, while the two of us have become, uh… Well… twice the men they married. So, to add to my frustrations this week, we get weighed very Sunday night.
They called us out. They are right. We have failed them in an area that matters to them. My comment about “if it matters to her, it had better matter to you” got fed to me. So… It’s on.
I was 155 pounds when we were married in 1989. By 1998 I was 235. Somewhere around 2001, I hit 265. Gradually, I had gotten down to 245 in 2009. Right before everything fell apart. The stress of the impending doom caused me to almost stop eating for a month, lost 20 pounds in about four weeks. ( It works, but I am not endorsing the “depression diet” ) And, in desperation to fix everything, I went to the gym and dropped to 209 before we moved in late 2011.
After the move, I gradually got back up to 220 over the next year. When I finally quit smoking, another 20 pounds showed up overnight. So. At 241 pounds, the challenge began. Six weeks, ending on Father’s Day, to drop as much as we can. Not really worth bragging about, so far. Both of us are down about ten pounds. I was hoping for 20 by now, but again, job change and wrecked routines make it difficult. No excuses. Still working on it. But it’s just one more thing causing a little stress this week.
There’s plenty more, but you get the idea. Disregard for my own physical condition is causing my wife stress. It’s just one more area that has to change. It matters to her. When we went through the “His needs, Her needs” we found out my wife’s two most important issues from me. An attractive husband and financial security. The two areas I have failed her the most. Yep. Working on it.
I can’t control everything about our life, but I can control me. The eating and exercising, the financial decisions. All that.
I am not depressed. I am not miserable. My life is still so much better than it ever has been. Nothing to really complain about. I am just searching for solutions, and amazed at the stuff I find. So much of what’s wrong with the world is based on pure human selfishness. So many things would just become better if folks were a little more concerned with the people around them than they are with themselves. There’s more and more truth to the words of Christ as I think about these things. Love God, love each other. Do to others what you want done to you. Seek to serve, not to be served.
Can I just get a minor breakthrough this week? Can I simply get a few guys to accept a challenge? Will you promise to be guys who aren’t adding to everyone’s stress? Will you love your wife without selfishness? Will you treat your kids like they matter? Will you put your own needs aside and focus on your family for a while? Will you pursue your purpose and become a better man for your family?
Will you attempt to be part of the solution instead of adding to the problems?
That would help me out, a lot. Thanks.