Taking some advice from Popeye the sailor

I am what I am.

Classic line from the old Popeye cartoons. “I am what I am, and that’s all that I am.” Love it. Take wisdom where you find it. I found it in a black and white cartoon about a spinach munching, one eyed sailor. Yes, I did.

The point?

I am taking flack from people who want to argue and debate over my content. They think this should be a full service, full buffet, all inclusive menu of every aspect of marriage and family counseling. Well…. It’s not. And it’s not going to be. Sorry.

The folks who get irritated, because I don’t tell those darn women what to do, probably gripe about other things. Why can’t I get a burger at Chick-fil-a? Why can’t I buy shoes in Petsmart? The gas station doesn’t sell clown wigs! What’s wrong with people? How dare they find a niche that works for them, and stick with it.

Seriously. That’s what it sound like to me.

I primarily write to knucklehead men, who want to be better husbands and fathers. Guys who understand that their families are their first priority. Guys who believe headship and authority really mean responsibility to care for them. Not demanding servitude. If you are hung up on the submissive wife message, you have my sympathy. You are missing out on the entire purpose of marriage.

It’s about us learning to love the way Christ loves. It’s about understanding the power and joy in a human relationship.

This site is, also, not going to be a politically correct, non-offensive sissyfest. If you are easily offended, arrogant or just rude; don’t come in here looking to play ball. It will not go the way you want. I can promise that. My site, my words, my life, my story. I will always get the last word. Understand?

I am what I am.

I am a recovering knucklehead, with a knack for learning things the hard way. I am a formerly abusive husband who learned the single most effective way to restore and preserve a damaged marriage. I am a guy who takes Ephesians 5:25 literally and reaps the benefits of that decision daily. I don’t argue or debate. I do respond to people who insist on declaring their ignorance. I am not obligated to be tolerant of foolishness. I am not required to be nice. I will tell you my story and you just decide to accept it or reject it.


And, for those of you who keep warning me about Joel and Kathy Davisson, please read a few more articles. I didn’t just read their book and make a decision. I read the books. I went though the intensive. I even relocated my family into the same beautiful area as them. I see them every week. They are the real deal. Not perfect. Not leading some cult of henpecked, spineless men. Not any of the junk folks keep posting about them. Just good people who are trying to save marriages.

They are my counselors and my friends. So please, a little respect. My marriage, and this site, wouldn’t exist without them.

My intention wasn’t to throw another tantrum on here. But, it’s like, some folks demand it. They think the best way to be a good Christian is to go around bashing other Christians. They consider it their ministry to the world, correcting everyone and demanding we all be perfect, just like them. They are wasting their lives on things that don’t matter. Jesus said that the world would know us by our love.


If you are a Christian husband, who desires to learn what Ephesians 5:25 really means. If you are a man who has developed abusive tendencies and wants to stop. If you are desperately searching for the answer to saving a damaged marriage… Keep reading. This is what my site and stories are about. Just pick one. Start reading. Email me questions.

I am what I am. No fluff. No bull. Just like Popeye. Be real. Be honest. Stop pretending to be a perfect Christain. Focus on becoming Christlike. Not just looking like you are. Get over the opinions of everyone who doesn’t matter.

Humble yourselves and pray. Seek His face. Turn away from the things that are destroying your family and separating you from God. Stop hiding behind dead religion and breathe life into your family again. Do whatever it takes to save your family. There is no higher calling. They are your first ministry.

If you happen to doubt that, consider something. Matthew 19:29. Jesus told us about all the things we might abandon, in His service. Things He would restore and replace. Farms, land, houses, fathers, mothers even children. He didn’t say husbands or wives. Maybe He just forgot. Maybe He doesn’t understand what He really wants. Or maybe, just maybe… He intends us to serve together, if we are married. He never intended to break that bond. He understands covenant. He knew what He was doing.

That’s why I push Ephesians 5:25.

As Christ loved the church.

Are you a Christian? Are you a husband? What’s the problem?
Let’s do this thing. No more excuses.
Take my challenge. 21 Days to Save My Family
Popeye art by Lois Marie Frescura.

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