There was a story I heard, years ago, about a tropical village needing a new king.
The tradition, on this island, was to choose a new king every ten years. Once he was king, he could do anything he wanted. Every whim and desire became reality. The village was his to rule and manage. The catch was, when his time was up, they banished him to a small deserted island to die.
For as long as they could remember, kings were chosen. They lived extravagantly. They enjoyed every second of being king. then the old kings were sent to die alone. They starved or were eaten by animals or just died of thirst. It probably sucked. Not a happy ending.
Then, they chose this new king. He was different. He spent his ten years preparing. He sent workers to the island constantly. They made sure there were wells producing fresh water. They planted fruit trees and gardens. They took game and livestock animals to the island. They built a beautiful home for the king. Prior to the end of his time, he sent his family there to wait for him.
Banishment wasn’t such a bad deal after that.
That guy understood preparation. Not sure why nobody else did that before. Seems logical from here. The bible mentions, in proverbs, that a wise man sees the danger and avoids it. Sounds like a good way to live. Prepared. Not like I have spent most of my life.
A day late and a dollar short. Shot out of the saddle. Crash and burn. Failed business. Trashed marriage. Bankruptcy. Etc.
The fact is, I have spent most of my life like that. Willing to take on any challenge, face any fight, conquer any obstacle. But I have been pretty slack in my preparation.
I got married at 19, with no legitimate counseling. We were in love. She was perfect. What could possibly go wrong?
I attempted to start my own ministries and businesses, without any real business training or counselors.
Even now, I write and publish, with no idea what I am doing.
In some books I have been reading, there seems to be a common solution to success. It is a simple idea. If we spend our time doing things that are efficient and effective, we have no option but to succeed. If we spend our time doing things that are ineffective and not efficient, we don’t have much choice except to fail.
Each and every decision gives us these options.
If your mission is to make money, stop doing things that don’t make money. Focus your time and energy on doing things that work. If your job isn’t paying enough, figure out how to be more valuable and work towards a raise. If that’s not an option, look for another job.
If your mission is to be a good husband and father, stop doing things that interfere with that goal. Focus your time and energy on things that encourage your family. Focus on the things that they need.
Remember that “husband” and “father” are both titles received for having a wife and kids. It’s their perspective. You are only a husband and father to them. You are only a good husband and father, by being a good husband and father to them. Nobody else deserves an opinion. No other opinion matters.
It goes back to preparation.
If you are taking a trip, you plan the route, pack the bags, figure out the cost before leaving. When you want to do a certain type of work, you get training to learn how it’s done. If you are going to cook a meal, there’s planing involved, too. Everything you do takes a certain amount of preparation.
So. The question is…
Why are we so stubborn about preparing to be a good husband? Why do we tend to reject counseling and reading when it’s obvious that we aren’t prepared to make a solid family? Why do we leave the work of the relationship to our wives? Why are we content to complain about things instead of resolving them?
I began these websites to give men an opportunity. Both of my sites are full of things that I needed to know twenty years ago. Things I desperately needed. Things that any rational or logical person would hesitate to admit. I am openly admitting to a massive amount of mistakes and failure, all for your benefit.
You need to prepare for a better tomorrow.
Take today to begin preparing for something better than you have now. Plan for tomorrow. How can tomorrow be better than today? What can I do to make my family stronger? What can I do to improve our lives? What challenges or obstacles are headed my way? What can I do to prepare?
I strongly suggest that you take advantage of these books we have in the sidebar on the right. They are tools to help you prepare for a better future. If your marriage is going to last into the golden years, it needs you to work at it. Don’t wait for banishment. Get ready to live. Prepare for the good life, together.
Take the 21 day challenge.