So. My wife recently found this video on YouTube. It’s got to be the greatest batchelor party ever planned and executed. She tagged me, I had to watch it.
What I saw, was a group of guys making incredible effort to give a buddy the best day of his life.
I would be be lying if I didn’t admit that it made me laugh out loud, but it also got me to the edge of tears. It made me think about where we are and how we got here.
It really made me miss my friends.
I grew up in a small, seemingly inbred, town in Georgia. There were good people, but it was mostly folks that didn’t want kids or teens running around in public. Aspiring tourist area. Minimal positive activities for the kids. Not an impressive place to grow up. Actually, it was the kind of community that inspires delinquent behavior.
That’s where we come in.
Most of my best friends were other kids who were bored and gravitated towards the rebellious forms of entertainment. We did stupid stuff. We got in trouble. We did all the stuff we were told not to do. We weren’t really the dangerous, openly criminal types. Just bored teens with rebellious natures and twisted senses of humor.
There were folks that drifted in and out of the pack. Some stayed a while, some didn’t. Some were a perfect fit, some got chased out. Birds of a feather. I ended up with a handful of people that made me feel like I had it all. These guys became my best friends during the volatile high school years.
I can’t begin to express how much I miss them all right now. Thanks to that stupid video.
“Well, dang, Erik.” You might be thinking. “Get up and go see them. Get ’em together and have yourself a party.”
Not that easy. Why? Because of all this stuff I have been writing about. Saving our family meant starting over and leaving the area we grew up in. We gave up our hometown connections and 30 minute ride to see everyone when we moved.
Most of them have moved away, too. We all wanted out of there. I still don’t really care to see the place again. Just want to get the old gang together one more time.
Anyway. The video has been bothering me. Making me think about the real cost of screwing up your family.
Most Marriage Counselors who have a reasonable grasp of reality, know what it takes to save a severely wrecked marriage. Once certain lines are crossed, affairs happen, cycles are repeated… It’s usually best to relocate. If there are people or situations that are potentially going to cause further problems, it’s best to stay away from them.
We had to. We couldn’t stay where we were and expect to ever recover from all we had survived. The regular exposure to the places, people and routines guaranteed that it would all happen again, unless we started over first. On our terms.
So we moved. Gave up everything familiar. The best jobs, home and friends we ever had. To move into an area where we knew two people, no jobs, renting a house. Three years later, we have the best jobs and marriage ever. Things are improving so fast it seems surreal.
The only hitch is missing my friends. Haven’t made many down here. That stupid video reminded me of how the last six years have worn me out. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. My focus has been on survival. Not much time to rest and good off.
Like my blogging friend, Jacque, wrote about in “The takeoff.” The initial effort to accomplish or change anything uses substantially more energy than the coasting that comes later. (It’s a great article. Click that link later.)
That’s where we are now. We have overcome the gravitational pull that wanted us to give up. We are past the stuff that worked so hard to stop us from healing and restoring our family. We have become friends again and it feels like we just got married… Except for being older, and having grown kids, and already knowing everything about each other.
So, as a reminder of what you might be giving up by making decisions like I did, here’s the video link. (There’s some language, but the video is so worth watching I am still recommending it.)
Enjoy the video. Make good decisions. Take care of your family and friends.
Photo credit? Nope. Stolen from YouTube screenshot.