We have a situation. A toddler has entered our life and we are trying to understand him.
This is no ordinary kid. This one is damaged.
To the best of my knowledge, the toddler has experienced some extreme traumas. Been through some things that can’t be understood or resolved. Seems to have no ability to develop social skills.
He is a complete bully to everyone. Demanding his way. Pushing people. Making threats and constantly raising his voice. He has to have everything his way or he goes into a tantrum. He is incapable of self control. He is a threat to himself and everyone around him.
Now. I am no psychologist and honestly don’t know the best way to handle someone like this.
As a human male, there is a first reaction to want a physical solution. I want to slap him senseless. As a Christian, I want to empathize and apply compassion. As a husband, my only concern is for the safety of my wife whenever this toddler is around.
By now, you have probably formed some opinions of the little guy and me. Fair enough. Let me add one more detail that might make it easier.
He is over six feet tall and close to three hundred pounds.
Yeah. That’s one big toddler. He is also in law enforcement and possibly former military. To the best of my knowledge, this particular toddler is around fifty years old. Yeah. This toddler carries a gun and a badge.
Still with me?
A toddler is generally considered to be a one to two year old child. Someone who is just learning to walk and does it with a certain degree of instability.
When a guy gets to be an adult, but is still incapable of showing compassion or humility, he resembles a toddler. His social skills are undeveloped and he seems oblivious to how he treats people around him.
Sure. He might run to “momma” or someone else he expects good things from, but tends to be a bully to everyone else. These guys are great at taking love from others, but terrible at returning it.
Someone once told me that if a human infant had the size and strength of a gorilla, it would be the most destructive creature alive.
Probably for the same reason this guy is making life difficult for everyone around him. Violently selfish. Aggressively arrogant. No reasoning about the way he treats others. Unaware of the potential consequences of pushing the wrong people around. Demanding everything and raising hell if he doesn’t get it.
To make it worse, the guy claims to be a Christian and makes sure everyone knows it. His buddies, who are scared to death of him, make the same claims. More frustrations.
At his age and with his attitude this far gone, I don’t know if there’s hope for him or not. Without a consciousness of his condition, and a desire to change, it probably won’t happen. His lack of compassion and humility will probably doom him to a miserable life and never understanding why he struggles with relationships.
However. If you have read this far, there’s hope for you. If you are beginning to identify with this guy and see a little of your own life in there, do something about it.
Make a change. Get some help. Get yourself into counseling and find the root issues and begin learning to live again. Love and relationships aren’t easily understood by most of us guys. We need some coaching if we want to make it last.
Are you are constantly driven by your emotions? Do you get extremely mad for no reason? Do people upset you constantly? Does everyone seem to be intimidated by you? Do you feel perpetually frustrated?
Are the people closest to you fun to be with, or do they always seem stressed and distant? Do you seem to have less friends every year? Are you even able to smile at your wife and kids?
Maybe the problem isn’t everyone else.
Take that first wobbly baby step towards becoming a better man.