The last article probably ruffled a few feathers and triggered some deep-seated religious opinions that are not rooted in reality. It explained the oppression of our wives and made suggestions for change. It may have even forced you to decide what kind of husband you want to be.
Let’s check on the guys who are struggling with what they think about the concept that our religious beliefs have turned our wives into second-class citizens and attempted to reduce them to servants.
Most of us were taught that God created our wives to be helpmates. But the word is helpmeet. Meaning, essentially, someone called alongside to help win a battle we can’t win alone, and to help communicate things we can’t understand.
Someone who completes us, not obeys us.
We have become so deceived, that many believe God honors our attempts to do good for people we don’t know, and is perfectly fine with us neglecting our own family. Do you really think that God is a hypocrite? Do you think He would give up His own life for His bride and encourage us to dominate and abuse ours?
Worse than an infidel is the phrase that comes to mind.
For most of you, Christian or not, this is probably the first time you are hearing anything like this. For me, the first confrontation stirred up a whirlwind of stressful emotions. It also woke me up to the fact that I, like most of you, had become an abusive husband.
Here’s the most likely list of reasons for your discomfort with the possibility that we are bad husbands and our wives deserves better than we have given them…
A. You actually are an abusive husband. Based on one or more offenses as shown in the 21 Forms of Abuse. Plain and simple. You have taken the only human that you made a covenant before God to love as Christ loved the church, and made her into an objectified servant with second class purpose.
B. You are wrapped up in your control issues that have your mind torn between doing the right thing and maintaining control. Everything has to happen on your terms and to your benefit. If this is you, I feel your pain.
C. You are determined to exist as a sheep. You are the type that has probably already made a list of scriptures to throw at me. You are angry because your mind is wired in reverse polarity. Your actions are the opposite of the generous, compassionate, honest and model of love, Christ Himself. The same One who only demonstrated condemnation twice during his walk here, as far as I know.
One was to religious leaders using their trusted positions to manipulate, rob, use and abuse the followers. The other was a fig tree that had not produced fruit even after years of taking in nutrients. I think those represent pastors who impersonate Pharisees, and church members who still act like selfish and immature sheep.
D. You are so passive that you would probably sit through a house fire rather than go to the effort to move. Got to finish that last episode of a show you have been binge watching for weeks. As long as nobody is screaming in your face or nagging the life out of you, life seems perfect. Nobody else matters. You might even be wearing a diaper now, just because it seems more convenient.
E. You are just clueless, completely without empathy, or compassion, or even the ability to think about anything except in the context that it affects you. Very much like a toddler.
D. Just all of the above.
Guys, read Ephesians 5:25. Just look at it without allowing prejudice or preconceived ideas tell you what it means. Read it like it would have sounded if it was spoken to you from Christ Himself. Think about what He did, who He was and what He was trying to teach us. How much did He love His bride? What sacrifices did He make? What opportunities did He pass up for the benefit of His bride?
We only have two true covenants as married Christian men. Love your bride with as much passions and selflessness as Christ loves His bride.
Seriously, if you fit any of those descriptions, you are not loving her right and you are influencing your own kids to be like you. Get help. Joel and Kathy were the ones who finally spoke a language I understood. They might be your solution.
Wake up and walk away from the deception. Man up and do what’s right for your family.
M. Erik Matlock is a self-professed recovering knucklehead with more than 500 articles and four books in print. He shares his hard-earned wisdom at ErikMatlock.com, ProSoundWeb.com and through his books, which are available at Amazon.